Well, what can I say about the Ancestors? As it’s nearly Samhain, and the veil is already thinning, I guess I ought to say something. For those who know them, words don’t mean a lot. Knowing they are close is really special. And, if you haven’t met them yet … well, where do I start? The subject is as vast as the number of people in your ancestral line!
Each culture has its own way of remembering their beloved dead, of working with them, helping them and, of course, honouring them. So, all I can do is mention a few things which are meaningful to me. If they don’t mean much to you, do something else. I can only speak of my journey with the Ancestors. It won’t necessarily be the same as yours. You will need to find your own way home.
And, be very sure about this – HOME is the perfect word to describe the experience. There is nothing quite like suddenly realising all the people who have gone before you are still there, helping you, supporting you and, of course, loving you … well, unless they are very grumpy ancestors. There are a few! All you can do is keep blessing them!
So where do I start with this huge topic? At the beginning… my first encounter was with a gentleman who was two hundred and fifty years behind me. I asked to clear a specific thing from the ancestral line and he was the one who started the problem. And goodness me, he was very, very grumpy. By jolly, he made it quite clear it was his dysfunction and he liked it. It gave his life meaning and purpose. It made him feel strong and it made everyone else who came after him miserable in one way or another. But I was determined it was going to stop in my generation. So, what to do? It’s one thing to have done the training and quite another to be faced with an invisible angry person who thinks you are meddling in something which doesn’t concern you. Gulp!
But one of the many ways you can help your ancestors is not necessarily to heal them, but to love them, to acknowledge them, to honour them, or even just to offer them the quality they lacked in their lifetime. I discovered very quickly that this man had never been loved. Not once, so I simply blessed him with the love and compassion from deep within my heart. He was astonished, puzzled, overwhelmed and, within a very short time, a completely different ancestor. After all, love is the greatest healing modality of them all!
After that, when the Ancestors discovered I was aware of them, they were all coming forward wanting one thing or another. That is the downside…. in our culture they have been ignored for so long now they think it’s great when they are finally noticed. I mean if you’d been ignored for hundreds of years wouldn’t you be pleased to be acknowledged? So you have to make sure you set very firm boundaries and let them know you will only work with them when it is appropriate. If you don’t do this, you will find them, turning up all the time. They can be relentless! But they are also loving, encouraging, supportive.
Another experience happened some time ago, a few weeks before Remembrance Day. I became aware of a Tommy around me, but I didn’t know anyone who had fought in WWI. In the end, I asked because the man was not going away and when I found out his name, I asked him to step closer – having already set my boundaries so he couldn’t come closer until he was asked… there is nothing wrong with insisting the Ancestors treat you politely!
It turned out he and the others he fought with were afraid no one would remember them and their great sacrifice was going to be forgotten because there were so very few people left who knew what they did. All they needed, bless them, was for someone to do that, to remember what they did in The Great War, so we could be free. I lit a candle for them on my ancestor altar and said I would do that, and I was reduced to tears when I stood for the two minutes silence on 11/11. My ancestor turned up with his whole battalion. I was completely surrounded and we all stood in silence together. I felt such love from these men, such relief and I remember them all now every year because no one should forget what they did just because they are gone now. Well, gone for most people anyway.
But, please don’t think working with the Ancestors is always serious or painful. It can be if someone needs help, but, there are happy times as well. After all, being reunited with some of these people, especially if you have known them, is quite beautiful. And just knowing they are there brings great joy, not to mention relief, as does knowing they are more than happy to help and support you when you need it. It means, despite appearances to the contrary – quite simply – you are never alone. Not ever. They are always there – all you have to do is… well, allow yourself to perceive them, to become aware of their presence in the best way for you. Some people see, some hear, some know and some feel. But in the end, whichever way you experience the other realms, your heart will always know and it will open to receive the love these people have for you.
I am glad the Ancestors are in my life now, even the grumpy ones, though I never dreamed I would ever say that! But they are part of me. I carry them all in my DNA. I am the sum of all those who have gone before me and I love them dearly, especially when they make me smile.
So on 31st October light a candle for your beloved dead and welcome them home. The light will show them the way. In our house we have dinner, setting another place for any who want to join us and putting some of our food on the plate for them. It is a simple thing the Celts used to do at Samhain and we like it. They honoured anyone who has passed, welcoming them home for the night, and the Church eventually took a lovely festival and used it to vilify our honoured dead, turning them into nothing more than ghosts and ghouls. It’s even worse now with Trick or Treating… but I won’t go there. We don’t open the door and we eat by candle light, sitting afterwards while the candle burns down because most of the Ancestors never knew about electric lighting. It brings us a little closer to them. But, in the end, just do what ever feels right for you. It will be perfect.
And don’t forget a partner or spouse who has passed can still be counted as an Ancestor. They Are known as Ancestors of the Heart. You simply have to let them know they are included. They will come because you have loved them, whether they are a blood relative or not. And trust me when I say – they will be happy to be remembered and to know they are still loved because they – like all the others – have not gone.
Bright Blessings Gailx